Well Played Willy D

I hesitate to write this piece about dating because the last time I broached the topic my inbox and phone blew up with everything from prayers by concerned aunties to “thoughtful” male strangers offering to instantly solve my dating problems. For those who don’t know me well, I’m fairly private when it comes to my romantic life. But, this story is funny so I have to share!

This morning Khayriyyah and I stopped at Starbucks for some coffee. It was early and we were both dressed in workout gear, no makeup, and hair not styled. As we waited for our lattes we noticed a group of professionally dressed men sitting around a nearby table. 

Slowly one by one the fellas began to move their seats until they all were lined up in a row facing and staring at us. We avoided eye contact with the early morning panel of judges, but couldn’t help but laugh at their lack of subtlety. I’m still mystified as to why we get so much attention while looking so thrown together. 

I thought back to a couple of weeks ago when we were out on a Saturday night, dressed to the nines and looking lovely. It was a holiday weekend and we were in good spirits and ready to have a great time. 

We were pleased with the venue, the music was bumping and there was a decent crowd. Unlike this morning, I was feeling sociable and looked forward to seeing old friends and possibly meeting new ones. 

Sissy and I bopped to the music, sipped our drinks, and watched the fun scene. As my drink began to get low, I realized no one had offered to buy me another one. This may sound a bit conceited but I’m accustomed to a gentleman or two offering to do so, especially when I’m home in the South. 

As soon as the thought entered my mind an older gentleman approached us. He wore a fedora, gators, and had a skinny mustache. He called himself Willy D. 

Willy D immediately got us another round of drinks. I was relieved because two visits to the bar goes against my personal constitution. I would rather go home and wallow in my newfound midlife no-drink crisis. 

We thanked Willy D for the drinks and he offered to keep them coming. As the night went on, Willy D was never too many steps away. As a matter of fact, every time someone began to approach me he would magically appear like the Lucky Charms leprechaun. 

I tried to make it obvious that we were not together but Willy D kept blocking like only a magical leprechaun can. At one point I turned in the opposite direction of him and noticed a nice looking man smiling at me. As I smiled back, Willy D appeared right in front of me blocking my sight line. He handed me my clutch that I had safely tucked under my coat which was right behind me. He leaned in to say, “you left your purse”. *eye roll*. 

To my surprise (not), by the time I got rid of Willy D, handsome stranger was gone. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a persistent and confident man which is why I don’t fault Willy D in his magical-cock-blocking-efforts. 

What I don’t understand is the other men. When did guys become afraid of a little competition? What happened to wooing a girl to win her heart and attention?

I imagine that men these days may be out of practice courting a woman because of dating apps, thirsty women, and those women who are comfortable approaching men. 

But fellas, it must be said that there are many amazing and available women who are “traditional” in their dating practices. These women like to be approached and respectfully courted. 

I’m keeping faith that there are also gentlemen out there who are willing to put forth a strong effort to pursue a deserving lady. Until I meet them, fedoras off the the old school Willy Ds of the world. #liveinlove


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